We’re approaching the end of 2022 and you, like many people, are probably thinking about what you want to achieve in the new year, maybe thinking about setting some resolutions for the new year. So today I am going to talk about what you can do to make 2023 your best year ever.
First of all, what you want to do is to set some goals. You want to know what you want to achieve, because if you don’t know where you’re going you’re never going to get there. So think about what you want in the new year. That could be to reduce anxiety or could be to overcome anger issues, it could be to have more money.
When you’re thinking about your goals, you want to frame them in the positive. So if your goal is to overcome anxiety, you don’t want to make that your goal. You want your goal to be to become more confident, to feel more confident.
Likewise with anger, you want your goal to be to be calm, not to be less angry. And then you want to consider how you’re going to know when you’ve achieved that goal. What will be different? What will you be noticing when your more confident or calm?
Are You Doing It For You?
You need to consider if you’re doing this for you or for someone else. If you are doing it for someone else you probably won’t achieve it, as I tell people who come to me to stop smoking, you need to want to do this for you. If you’re wanting to do this for someone else, or because it’s what society tells you you should do it, you’re not going to stick to it. So it needs to be something that you want to achieve, something that you want. A way to know if it’s your desire or someone else’s desire is to visualize yourself achieving the goal. Take a deep breath in breathing all the way down into your stomach. As you breathe out, allow your eyes to close and with your eyes closed you want to picture yourself in that situation. Having achieved your goal and just feeling what you’re feeling. If you’re feeling happiness, if you’re feeling joy, if you’re feeling more secure, then that’s a goal that’s coming from you. If you’re feeling anything else, it’s probably a goal that comes from other people, a goal that’s coming from what you think society wants from you or what maybe what your parents want.
Make It S.M.A.R.T
Set a S.M.A.R.T Goal, make it sustainable, measurable, attainable,relevant, and time bound.
Do you feel you deserve this goal do you feel that you deserve to achieve what you’re looking to achieve?
If you don’t feel it’s possible, you’re gonna have a hard time achieving it and there may be things that come up for you with regards to your identity or things that you believe about yourself that you need to change and this is where you know child healing can help. This is where doing the inner child programme can help.
If your goal is to overcome anxiety or increase confidence you’d find doing the inner child programme very useful. It’s not about reliving the past. It’s not about blaming parents or caregivers for things that have happened in the past. It’s about connecting with your inner child, giving them self love and self acceptance. Likewise, if your goal is to lose weight and stop emotionally eating inner child healing will help, food is the most common substance that people use to suppress their emotions.
When we grow up with dysfunction, that’s most of us. It’s going to create toxic shame. When that toxic shame comes up. It’s going to create negative feelings, negative emotions, to suppress those emotions. We’re either going to act in through self harm, addictions, substance abuse, emotional eating, or we’re going to act out become narcissistic and abusive ourselves.
So whatever your goals the inner child programme could really help.
Back to S.M.A.R.T Goals
S.M.A.R.T goals are an NLP technique that helps us to achieve our goals. As I said, you want to make your goal specific. So if you’re looking to be more confident, what situations would you want to be more confident in? Would you want to be more confident at work? What will being more confident of work allow you to achieve? Will it allow you to get a pay rise or promotion?
Confident in public, what will that allow you to achieve will it allow you to make new friends?
Maybe to meet someone, a boyfriend or girlfriend? If you want to lose weight, how much weight do you want to lose?
Making it specific is going to make it measurable. So you’re gonna be able to know when you’ve achieved your goal and you need to believe it’s attainable because if you don’t believe your goal is attainable you’re not gonna be motivated to stick to it.
Making it attainable is going to make it relevant. It needs to be, as I said something that you want to do something that you’re doing for yourself, not something that you’re doing for someone else. Having said that, who will notice when you achieve this goal, what will their reaction be? Make it timely, you want to put a time limit on your goal. What is the time limit that you’re going to put on getting that promotion or meeting someone new? What’s the time limit that you’re going to put on losing weight? Maybe you’re going to lose weight for the summer. Set a specific date in June or July maybe when you’re going on holiday. Have a look at my S.M.A.R.T Goals workshop on YouTube.
Break It Down
In July maybe you’ll have lost 10 pounds, you’ll have a six pack. What will you notice a month from now that’s going let you know that you’re moving towards that. Maybe you’ll have lost a pound or maybe you’ll be able to run a bit further. So you’re breaking it down, and then that’s going to keep you motivated because every time you reach one of these milestones, you’re going to be motivated to move on to the next milestone.
As I’m always saying in my workshops, your mind can’t tell the difference between a real or an imagined event. By imagining yourself the way you want to be, you’re actually going to create new pathways in the brain, you’re going to start to be able to associate with yourself that way and actually become that person.